我已经变了

现在的我，已经不一样了。。。。。 大家都还以为我还是那个傻傻的子霖吗？你们错了 自从上了大学，我的人生价值观完完全全的变了。。。我还以为我的个性能够改变我身边的人，让他们跟我一样，无忧无虑的生活，这不是很好吗？ 但我错了，彻彻底底的错了。大学的人没我想象的。。。单纯吧。 利用人是他们最喜欢做的事。幸好我中学认识的朋友在，要不然我看我早疯了吧。先谢谢你们。 我在这里接卸来要写的就是，是什么改变了我。。 我刚刚上大学的时候，我朋友介绍我认识以为非常非常清秀的一位女孩。她真的让我觉得很舒服，跟她在一起谈天很自在。。而我就这么的信任她。有一天，她打了个电话，跟我说，“子霖啊，你快来救我，我生病看医生，没钱还，你快来好不好？” 我一听了就急了，那时候我没车，就跑去我朋友家，求他载我一程。。我朋友不要，我一直求他，一直求到他肯了，载我一程，到了学校的小小的诊所，我赶紧跑了过去，进去看了，没人，终于，在学校食堂找到了她，你知道她对我说什么吗？她说，”你来干什么？我不需要你了，你可以回去了。“ 我跟我的朋友就在那里，傻掉了。我不敢相信自己听到的，竟然是这么一个回答。我就说好吧，然后就回家了。我朋友走着走着，就跟我说，“子霖啊，不要一直做好人了，” 过后，我回家自己反省，我真的那么傻吗？我有那么。。。。。笨吗？帮朋友有错吗？不过，从那时候起，我再也不会做多余的事了。 自己想想，那时候我也太笨了。所以我的朋友都说我变了。我就坐着静静的，什么都不说。他们不知道这一年里，有多少事伤透了我的心啊。。。。。他们说我是开心果，那当然了！我从来没对他们发过脾气，做弄我，我也只是笑了一下，说声吊哦！！！！ 哈哈。。。每个人都有自己一个不想被人知道的一面。我现在写在这里，不是希望我的朋友看到，而是我憋在心里太久了，找个地方出出气。。。 朋友啊，看到了这段，不要吓到。 这一年里，很多事让我很伤心，但是做人要往好的方面想，我成长了很多，也有所防备。 还有， 31/12 那天晚上我。。。。很抱歉，女生们，我失态了，没有尽到一个绅士的风范，因为你们也惹到我了。。。。哈哈哈哈 我看，你们会觉得，我很小气，为什么动不动就这样吧。。。。我一直都是这样，为了维护友情，我忍了下来。我忍，一直忍，我一直在顺着你们，来了，一年不见，出来喝个茶，问声好都没有。。。。。我自己当然也有错，没有开口。。。。我这个人就是这样，不会开头说话。31/12 那天晚上，我跟我的男的朋友就坐在那里，坐在那里哦，2个小时，在你们旁边，连个话都不会说吗？在那边笑啊，讲话啊，多爽。。。。你知道我们男的感受吗？坐在那里，动也不能动，我那晚感觉被鄙视。。。。看不起，我知道我肥，有错吗？说话我只是直了一点。。。我对我的每个朋友，都不会说谎，我相信他们会理解我为什么会那么说，如果他们不改，有一天他们后悔了，就来不及了。我体验过，我知道，跟你们说了，又讲我，哇，厉害了咯，讲大道理了咯，lanci 咯。 你知不知道，有几位女生，我真的是信任你们，把我私事告诉了你们，你知不知道我有多开心？可是，你们却从来都不跟我说，聊聊天什么的。到后来，你们的行为举止让我觉得，我是你们的负担，烦恼，我很伤心，就不找你们了，到后来，返回来骂我，没找我呀！这怎么回事哦？我不知道这么说会不会很讨人厌，不过这就是我的心声，希望你们不要生气。 我把你当成我一个很特别的朋友，你只把我当成一个。。。。交通工具?ATM?“哎呀，他每次出去都会帮我还钱的啦！” 你还记得这句吗？这句很伤人，真的。不小心说出来的也一样。我又傻住了。有这个必要吗？我看你是女孩子的份上，跟我住那么近，那么多年的感情，这点小钱算什么！？我不在乎，当然。可是你把我当成了一个用具，心痛是我唯一想得到的形容词。 总之，2012年，真的是一个很特别的一年，他让我成长了好多，看开了这个世界有多残忍，所以，当我不再做好人的时候，替我想想吧。我今天就写到这里了，睡觉，明天要上班！ 再见了

It's The End

Finally the day has came.... You finally decided to say it out.... Haha.... Please.... I know you wouldn't come here and see it.... Please remember the song.... The poems I wrote for you.... I will miss you..... I love you....

Untitled

After my MOHE unit semester, I came back to Bintulu and everyday, I did nothing. Nothing at all. Wake up, computer games, eat then sleep. I wish I had my hectic life in Form 5 back. They say I'm crazy but once you missed your best part of your life, you might regret why you didnt cherish it but it's the way of life. So that's why old people keep say that cherish your times as we cannot buy back the time that had passed. So live your life everyday full of meaning man, or you might regret as that day passed. Do what you think is right to do. Instict always give the best choice in the life. Believe it

Facing Reality

Long time no upload blog alrdy..... Today i finally get the meaning of the phrase in the poem i read.. that is "Be sure that nice really means nice". Today I went out with my bro, saw sth that really broke my heart... My mum said, "Dun treat your friends too good, they're just using you." I dun believe it because i think that all my friends are being really nice to me, not treating me nice cuz got ulterior motives.... But as soon as SPM ended, my friends totally.... No calling me out, never chat, never hang out anymore, except two of my classmates... Haha thanks guys, because you two always know what im thinking and always be there for me.... XD Mum, i wanna say sorry here because i didnt believe you.... I will always consider really thoroughly all the advices you gave me from now on.... Well, im leaving here... I will meet new people and find someone who is really nice to me.... Ah im really sad...

Hahax

Today, i saw some of my friends's blog..... Found out that i actually had done a lot of things wrongly.... although i thought i had done them all right..... In the past, i think they are wrong, but just now i reli settled myself down and give a thorough thought, maybe they are right at some ways.... i realised how MUCH i had been wrong to something, and i think i might not be able to change it better..... Oh my goodness.....

Well, everything's a past now..... Im sorry for wad i had done and i still cant tell you what it is. I hope after you see this, dont be surprised, as this is the same as i told u a few days ago....

Ah..... i felt so good after expressing it all out. "He" is correct, blog can be something u express ur feelings out.... Thanks, bro...

Friend??

Today, when i came home from tuition, i suddenly thought of someone..... When i was Form 2, i was going to study in KL then i organised a farewell party, then while we was playing, there was some people playing the piano and one she played and played, she cried..... For real, when i see her crying, i felt happy and sad..... At that time, she was really a special friend to me, and someone said,"She is a nice girl, dun let her go a!" Then i speak to myself, am i worthy to her?

After i back from KL, dont know why, she started to behave coldly to me, then i really to ask her WHY!!! then till now i still havent asked her.... I wonder if that question is still important to me now.....

Haiz... Thats all for now.... Sleeping time XD

memoriable day

today is a memoriable day indeed...
1st time in my life got so many frens sing birthday song for me...
touched xia de lor XD thanks guys!!!! lemme feel so shuang today XD
haiz... someone gave me a present.... 2 pens, 1 glue and 1 eraser XD
seems like that person knows im in short of stationery XD
honestly, i expect far a lot from that person... never mind XD

AND, today our class got a new couple XD
so high o, 1st time in my life my fren couple with a lakia? OMFG(of course thats a joke)
he keep tio gek by us till he say,"dun force the rat turn into tiger" XD
but still its vry fun today hahaha

thats all now XD will update blog whenever im free XD